Sunday, June 23, 2002

God is good.
God is great.
God is awesome.
God is superlative.
Actually, God *defies* superlatives.
Haha... silly, silly... =P

Yes, Vern, how right you are. Haha.. I'm probably the only person who can amuse myself like I do... =P

Anyway, I was having one of those days. In this case, the "those" refers to an uncontrollable-emotional-outpour type of day. No, I don't get these often, but every couple of months I'll get one. =P

I'm not generally an emotional person, but pretty much the only thing that *does* cause me to get emotional is thinking about God's grace, as was the case here.

God has blessed me *abundantly,* to no end. I don't think I have any complaints about any aspect of my life... which leads me to pose the question, "Why??"

I am a proud and selfish person, undeserving of any goodness whatsoever. Totally depraved, spiritually blind, completely hopeless on my own strength, subject to spiritual death if it weren't for...

...God's grace.


"I have chosen you to be my child."

"But... it's too much... I can't accept it..."

"It is only by my grace that you can be saved. I love you the way you are, and this is my gift to you. I know you want to return the favour and try to do something back for me, but really, there is nothing that you can *do*. Just accept my gift to you."

"I don't know...."


I must have gone through this conversation dozens of times before I could say,

"I don't know... but okay... yes... I accept!"

And thus commenced my journey as a Christian.

Ever since, he has abundantly showered his blessings upon me, and with the same level of gratitude as before, I struggle between the concept of work ethic and the acceptance of his grace.

But really, why do I bother? What good is it to gratefully but semi-unwillingly accept his gifts, to wallow in my unworthiness?

God has chosen me to be called his own, he has granted me the gifts to be used for his will, and it is up to me to say, "Um... I don't know... but okay... yes, I accept!"

And so I do, and (try to) shower *his* gifts on those around me. =)

Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.

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