恭喜發財！

Well, I think one of the biggest dilemmas this year is having to give out red pockets.. no no, nothing happened to my marital status =p but it seemed to be a general *spoken* rule that all managers and up have to give red pockets to people "under". [Thinking back to my co-op days, I guess I got red pockets from my managers too.]

It's just a funny dilemma... how much to give... whether to give more to people we directly work with... whether we should give red pockets to the tea lady or not (she's probably the biggest gainer out of all people, haha...) [the dilemma is that she is attitude-y and doesn't give water to everyone... just the partners, haha, well, she doesn't acknowledge the presence of anyone who is a senior or under, I guess]... and then arguing the "netting out" amongst us managers [managers are one class.. no differentiation of seniority among the manager group, as in, I don't need to give to new managers.] Anyway, it's funny.

At least, I only need to give a few as our group is small without many seniors and no staff!

It's funny how things revolve around the money.. but to me, I think the part that bugs me the most is how it is engrained as an "expectation" in the culture (hence the "spoken" rule... not just an unspoken rule). In Toronto, I am more than happy to take people out for lunch and dinner because I'm just happy to do it.

And it doesn't necessarily change how I am here, except that people just joke about everyone else paying that it becomes to an awkward extent, and then I already don't want to take anyone out any more. [Maybe it comes down to people are more visibly and proudly 'gu hon'.]

At the same time, I know that is part of my problem about being spiteful whenever I *sense* that people have an expectation on myself. [As in, if I feel that you expect something of me, then, I'll purposefully not do it.] Haha... this came about at a young age when my mom used to wake me up by turning my lights on, and in my head I always thought, "All right, i'll get up once you turn the lights off!" Of course, neither way really worked, hahaha.

And as for the red pockets, I am happy to give them to people who are humble about it (and especially if they've helped me on my engagements). The other part that kind of bugs me is the "public display" of praises and well-wishes... which, I am sure comes from the heart (though, usually, it's to "get" the red pockets)... but, I guess the problem is just me. That's not my style as I prefer words that are generally more informal and *real*, not need to be seen and heard by the public eye and hears. And the same goes for this for the "giver" of the red pockets... I think I'll pull my seniors aside to do it...

Sigh, a difficult part of the culture to deal with for me!

Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.