Wednesday, August 18, 2004

No bookings tonight... please leave a message.

Finally, some quiet time to myself. I was really looking forward to a quiet house this week [despite having to take care of the house], and it is really nice. I don't think I've ever used my computer in the kitchen before, so that I could blog while cooking and eating my steak a la Edward Yam, not to mention blog for the past month and the next. =p And all in one shot -- no bother to ration the posts from my stores.

As alluded to earlier, I've had a whole bunch of thoughts that have been backlogged and I just haven't taken the time to document them. Not that I really like to use my blog as my weekly (or monthly) thought repository, but writing essays or pieces really took too long than I cared for. I also admit that I like to refrain from deeply personal thoughts on my blog for the sake of my facade. =p I really do need to journal and process my thoughts though, otherwise fleeting thoughts are simply valueless, and I suppose that strangely, the internet is likely the most transparent form of communication there is.

In terms of busyness, August is, for me, comparable to the December Christmas season. It didn't help that my birthday "week" also turned out to be one of the busiest weeks at work since busy season. So after a week of sleeping no earlier than 3 a.m. in any given day, I am reeling... It must be bad when all I feel is,

"God... I miss you...."

Spending time with people has always been important to me, and this month is no exception. But without God's strength to carry me on, socializing, as much as I enjoy it, is really draining. So I thank God for nudging me when I need it (otherwise, I could very well still be bubble tea-ing after a movie and a late dinner) and giving me a quiet house to re-energize and revitalize at the right time. Hm... perhaps the self-inflicted guilt of not going on vacation with my family was an unnecessary side effect to a blessing in disguise.

Thanks to everyone who dropped a note or "celebrated" my birthday on Thursday. As much as it is *my* day, I honestly don't enjoy the attention, but it *is* a great excuse to get-togehter with people. [Much better, of course, than spending the entire evening at work!! Which was a probable event for me last Thursday!] Not that the "celebrations" are over yet... but I am truly enjoying this year's birthday.

It was great to have dinner with my family and some close friends together. Family...

I've been to a couple of weddings this year, all very nice and meaningful... contrary to what people may perceive, I think I am pretty emotional -- in fact, I cry *really* easily. But weddings don't particularly touch me... until at the banquet, if it's a western-style banquet, the bride's dance with the father is what does me over.

Perhaps it's because I'm a girl (i.e., I'd hope to be a future bride), the love between two people pales in comparison to a father (or parents) who spend all of their adult life working and toiling so that the daughter can leave home and start a life anew... how selfless and beautiful is such a love. I know that I experience it every day, and am a product of it. I think that if I were to do the western style and dance with my father at my wedding, I would completely break down and bawl... mainly because of many years of pent up appreciation and gratitude that has yet to be directly released.

Yet, would I / do I cry for my heavenly father who has done amazingly more than I could ever imagine? Yes... I have in the past... recently? I think I've been a lot more jaded and caught up in the pace of the world than to reflect on it. But thankfully, Friday's TCCC English congregation praise and revival night attempted to get us to think back to the time when we first accepted Christ as our personal saviour. I really enjoyed the beautiful time of worship, the inspirational testimonies, and the open sharing.

I've never really seen a successful "open mic" style sharing at TCCC before. But on Friday, it was encouraging to see Harry share first without refrain, and great to hear people's honest struggles and stories of praise. I think the longest bout of silence was only one minute! [Mind you, this is not just a "pass the {item} around the circle"-type share -- it was a "go to the mic at the front of the crowd"-type of sharing.] That night brought me back to many times of sharing at CCF. A transparent kind of sharing that is characteristic of true community. It's exciting to finally see / feel it at church. It is also a challenge for myself to play a part in developing this community that has started...

Back to friends... I had a wonderful time of dinner and post-dinner [at the office, nonetheless] with some of my closest sisters-in-Christ [missed you Ina...] in "Joy Luck Club" fashion, to enjoy each other's company, laugh at each other's quirks and dorkisms [no, not just Anita!], chat about our careers, spirituality, communities, and of course, guys [in general! Well it was for me, at least...! since only the younger two members are in relationships =p]. I'm glad the latter was not the only topic of conversation. =) Despite being in all different years, I consider them all to be peers whom I admire and strive to embody their various characteristics. It is our peers who walk alongside and pick us up when we need it, yet, understand the trek while we are walking it, unlike mentors or other authoritative people who have walked ahead of us.

Of course, thanks again to everyone who dropped a note or took time to see me last week! I do appreciate it very much! Oh yes, going back to my "get-in-shape challenge", the target date *was* my birthday -- and I felt pretty good a week prior to my birthday. Last week I just ended up eating and eating... as expected, I suppose. At least, I *do* feel pretty good physically! I highly recommend working out before one's birthday because the age is felt to a much lesser extent!

Thanks to Andrew for David Crowder's "Illumination" -- now I am officially in the "club"! Thanks to Jonathan for "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership" -- I really look forward to further developing and sharing ideas from the book. And thanks to Brian for a chance to see David Crowder on Sunday! The Michael W. Smith / MercyMe concert was great, and featured the David Crowder band as the opener. As eBrian has already raved... it was amazing to see the artists perform together! I also liked MercyMe's use of media to complement their songs -- much better than Michael W. Smith's creation of a big Windows Media player screen [i.e., just moving shapes and shades]. It was also neat to see how David Crowder would perform his music live since it includes so many electronic components. I wonder what programs are being run on those computers, which form an integral part of the band. =) All in all, it was a great time of crazy jump-in-the-air worship, reminding me of Urbana.

Anyway, even I think this is getting really, really long now... but thank you for reading this far. I think this would be a pretty good gauge to separate my real friends from those otherwise.. =p

Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.

No comments: