Saturday, October 18, 2003

O Canada...

It's kind of funny that when autumn rolls around, I often hear talk (usually about endeavours of Chinese parents) about [fung yip tun / feng ye tuan] -- roughly translated into: leaf tours. My parents actually went on one for the first time this year, taking a bus to Muskoka for the sole purpose of viewing leaves. Upon their return, my mom likened it to driving on the DVP...

Personally, I think the best leaves are on the Bayview Extension. =p

On an unrelated topic, pursuant to my friend Ina's blog re: "clicking", I would like to post this response:

I believe in clicking. =) This does not mean that I do not believe in the commitment and follow-through part though -- on the contrary, I believe that "agape" love is the only love that a relationship *should* exhibit. So to decipher through the different thoughts, I think this is an issue of a normative theory vs. a positive theory, where a positive theory outlines an empirical, practical viewpoint of what actually *happens*, whereas a normative theory outlines how a relationship *ought to* operate.

Starting with the normative theory, I believe that God created love as defined by himself -- unconditional, selfless, sacrificial -- He chose to love us first. Similarly, in a relationship, I think it *should* also be a rational choice to love the other party-- a choice that is not deterred by irrational emotions or circumstances. So can arranged marriages work? I think they can, as long as the parties fully commit to their relationship and work on it.

Onto to the "positive" side, I think that society has perhaps "watered down" love to be based more emotions, and I think it is true that in general, we are more non-committal than historical peoples. However, our society has given us the freedom to choose whoever we would like to "test" as a potential spouse, which can based on any number of factors or standards we choose. So to assist our choice, here is where I think "clicking" comes into play [yes, finally, my point. =p]

Clicking, to me, is simply a preliminary gauge of compatibility, the initial attraction that draws people together. Although it is not necessary (see above re: arranged marriages), it is part of today's times. Definitely though, it is not an end-all... from the "clicking" part, will two people understand how they jive, and see what activities or things in general they can pursue together to really become part of one another's lives and find God's will for them together. Without the clicking part, I think it is difficult to find the ways in which two people can grow together.

In summary, I think clicking is an important start to two people's journey together -- a journey that involves a lot of exploration and searching -- so without a general level of compatability and similar interests, I think it is very, very difficult. Again, I reiterate that ultimately, the goal is to find "agape" love, as love is *supposed* to be. =)

Thoughts? Comments? May the floodgates be opened. =)

Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.

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