Da da da da da da da da!
Da da da da da da da da!
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da DAH DAH!
Haha, God is good.
Once again, I am overwhelmed by his grace:
his providence,
his blessings,
his joy,
his comfort,
his peace,
his rest…
The LORD is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation;
This is my God, and I will praise Him;
My father's God, and I will extol Him
– Exodus 15:1-3
Monday, July 29, 2002
Thursday, July 25, 2002
Events of the day:
[I'm currently auditing a software company, in a team of four. The work environment is not *too* favourable: despite the completely open concept layout, it is *extremely* quiet. Also, the client placed us right behind a couple of servers, and the fans around are FREEZING! The drone of fans is also quite sleep-inducing. =P Anyway...]
At around 11 o'clock, the server makes a noise, like it's going to shut down. Subsequently, some power goes down, and monitors around us start flickering. The server maintenance guy runs in, some profane language escapes his mouth, and he runs off. Apparently, (as I later found out,) he went to pull the fire alarm.
A few seconds later, all power dies.
The fire alarm rings.
"Fire! Electrical! Get out!"
I look to my team, and shruggedly, we follow the crowd out to the parking lot, actually smelling some burning smell on the way out.
A few minutes later, four fire engines pull up and the firefighters proceed to investigate the situation in the basement of the building. They come back out, get gas masks, and start pulling out a waterhose, pumping water through.
A few minutes later, Pizza Pizza pizza is delivered, and we get free food.
["nice." =P]
After half an hour or so, as the firefighters retreated and started to pack up, everyone was let into the building to collect their personal belongings, and were dismissed for the day.
Haha, exciting things *do* happen on audits. =P Actually something else happened today too... we were notified that one of our contacts was to be let go today, effective immediately. That was *not* fun.
Anyway, our senior let us go home for the day, but I ended up going back to the office with her because a whole slew of things was looming over my head, although I still intended to leave early.
And so I did.
I really need to practise. =P
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
[I'm currently auditing a software company, in a team of four. The work environment is not *too* favourable: despite the completely open concept layout, it is *extremely* quiet. Also, the client placed us right behind a couple of servers, and the fans around are FREEZING! The drone of fans is also quite sleep-inducing. =P Anyway...]
At around 11 o'clock, the server makes a noise, like it's going to shut down. Subsequently, some power goes down, and monitors around us start flickering. The server maintenance guy runs in, some profane language escapes his mouth, and he runs off. Apparently, (as I later found out,) he went to pull the fire alarm.
A few seconds later, all power dies.
The fire alarm rings.
"Fire! Electrical! Get out!"
I look to my team, and shruggedly, we follow the crowd out to the parking lot, actually smelling some burning smell on the way out.
A few minutes later, four fire engines pull up and the firefighters proceed to investigate the situation in the basement of the building. They come back out, get gas masks, and start pulling out a waterhose, pumping water through.
A few minutes later, Pizza Pizza pizza is delivered, and we get free food.
["nice." =P]
After half an hour or so, as the firefighters retreated and started to pack up, everyone was let into the building to collect their personal belongings, and were dismissed for the day.
Haha, exciting things *do* happen on audits. =P Actually something else happened today too... we were notified that one of our contacts was to be let go today, effective immediately. That was *not* fun.
Anyway, our senior let us go home for the day, but I ended up going back to the office with her because a whole slew of things was looming over my head, although I still intended to leave early.
And so I did.
I really need to practise. =P
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Wednesday, July 24, 2002
re: July 22 - Sanctification, the death side
I've never thought of sanctification as explicitly as Oswald Chambers explains it.. the process of my "stripping down," down to my totally depraved nakedness; the vulnerability is kind of scary.
This text made actually me think of the book we attempted to read [for cell group]: "The Heart of Worship", by Matt Redman. The second chapter is called "The Undone Worshipper". It tells about worshipping God with a brokenness where God "undoes" us, maybe even leaving us with a thorn in the flesh to remind us of our weakness. It's only in this realization of our nothingness that we can truly worship God.
Matt Redman's story is pretty amazing.. what happened was that he got tendinitis in his right hand, which means not being able to play guitar for 6-7 weeks. For a worship leader, songwriter, a general music person, that is detrimental.. I don't know how difficult it would be for me if I had to give up a similar characteristic so integral to my self. But he only faced it with an attitude of worship, humbly trusting in God.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
– Psalm 51:17
I've never thought of sanctification as explicitly as Oswald Chambers explains it.. the process of my "stripping down," down to my totally depraved nakedness; the vulnerability is kind of scary.
This text made actually me think of the book we attempted to read [for cell group]: "The Heart of Worship", by Matt Redman. The second chapter is called "The Undone Worshipper". It tells about worshipping God with a brokenness where God "undoes" us, maybe even leaving us with a thorn in the flesh to remind us of our weakness. It's only in this realization of our nothingness that we can truly worship God.
Matt Redman's story is pretty amazing.. what happened was that he got tendinitis in his right hand, which means not being able to play guitar for 6-7 weeks. For a worship leader, songwriter, a general music person, that is detrimental.. I don't know how difficult it would be for me if I had to give up a similar characteristic so integral to my self. But he only faced it with an attitude of worship, humbly trusting in God.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
– Psalm 51:17
Tuesday, July 16, 2002
(Read the previous post first if you haven't already...)
(Don't worry, only seldomly will I write such lengthiness. =P)
Oh yes, I *did* have another point to my story.
Given my gratefulness and appreciation for all my friends who have taken time to give me a card, I should really turn my efforts up a notch and try to remember birthdays... I'm just not a "date" kind of person. =P
[sigh]... perhaps too much nostalgia for my own good. =P Not to say, however, that I don't live in the present; I very much do...
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
(Don't worry, only seldomly will I write such lengthiness. =P)
Oh yes, I *did* have another point to my story.
Given my gratefulness and appreciation for all my friends who have taken time to give me a card, I should really turn my efforts up a notch and try to remember birthdays... I'm just not a "date" kind of person. =P
[sigh]... perhaps too much nostalgia for my own good. =P Not to say, however, that I don't live in the present; I very much do...
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
OK, I don’t often do this, share my recent thoughts, (or even, my life story.) But in any case, here goes. I’ll try to come up with a point. =P
Random thoughts on a common theme…
…a result of a combination of items:
1. I’ve been cleaning my room lately (it’s taken >6 mos.)
2. I possess tendencies of an extreme packrat (it’s genetic, I say.)
3. I also possess meticulousness in organization (anal accountant? Perhaps.)
4. My friends and I either graduated this year or will graduate in the next year.
5. I enjoy very much moments of nostalgia in general.
I stumbled on my old cards as I cleaned my room. Of course, they were all packaged and labelled by year, grade, and event. Because my friends and I are all approaching graduation and moving on to the next stage of life, everyone is curious as to the “goings-on’s” of everyone else with whom we went to school before university.
Looking at these cards made me think of my journey:
Meeting my first friends in grade one: Alfred and Andrew… it was on the school climber (back then climbers were built out of wood, complete with opportunities to pick up slivers, none of this ultra-safe plastic nowadays: what fun is that?? =P)
My first birthday cards: 11th birthday in grade 5, 12th birthday in grade 6… where the gesture of a card was ample; where Andrew was the coolest person to have a computer-generated, dot-matrix printed card =P; we only signed names without writing anything; friendships were innocent and fun; there was no need to “talk” anything out; disputes were rare, if any.
A drought of cards between grades 7 to 9, which confirms the reasons for my extreme dislike of middle school… it was a traumatic experience, indeed. =P
Starting from grade 10, (sweet sixteen!) a LOT more was written in cards. It’s amazing how far we’ve come since grade one. We have since matured significantly, having gone through many more life experiences (although I don’t deny having a somewhat sheltered childhood / adolescence…), accomplished many achievements, dreamt bigger and better futures.
As I graduated from high school, my circle of friends expanded... We’ve shared wonderful experiences together: Switzerland, and being stranded in Florence; monopolizing the school by controlling the yearbook ([to the student council] Oh yeah? Oh yeah? One page for you! Black and white! =P Haha, joking); graduating from a ghetto school as a circle of friends who actually looked toward the future... =P
I also got to know what *real* friendship is: sharing struggles and burdens with each other, empathizing based on the understanding gained from past experiences, caring without seeking anything in return, tasting the purity the love of philios…
This concept of friendship extended to university; having met a few more people whom I now consider as my closest friends…
My point in all of this?
In the final analysis, all I can say is that I have been blessed beyond comprehension. God has carried me through all these years (especially out of those traumatic middle school years… =P) and I am forever grateful.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
– James 1:17
Random thoughts on a common theme…
…a result of a combination of items:
1. I’ve been cleaning my room lately (it’s taken >6 mos.)
2. I possess tendencies of an extreme packrat (it’s genetic, I say.)
3. I also possess meticulousness in organization (anal accountant? Perhaps.)
4. My friends and I either graduated this year or will graduate in the next year.
5. I enjoy very much moments of nostalgia in general.
I stumbled on my old cards as I cleaned my room. Of course, they were all packaged and labelled by year, grade, and event. Because my friends and I are all approaching graduation and moving on to the next stage of life, everyone is curious as to the “goings-on’s” of everyone else with whom we went to school before university.
Looking at these cards made me think of my journey:
Meeting my first friends in grade one: Alfred and Andrew… it was on the school climber (back then climbers were built out of wood, complete with opportunities to pick up slivers, none of this ultra-safe plastic nowadays: what fun is that?? =P)
My first birthday cards: 11th birthday in grade 5, 12th birthday in grade 6… where the gesture of a card was ample; where Andrew was the coolest person to have a computer-generated, dot-matrix printed card =P; we only signed names without writing anything; friendships were innocent and fun; there was no need to “talk” anything out; disputes were rare, if any.
A drought of cards between grades 7 to 9, which confirms the reasons for my extreme dislike of middle school… it was a traumatic experience, indeed. =P
Starting from grade 10, (sweet sixteen!) a LOT more was written in cards. It’s amazing how far we’ve come since grade one. We have since matured significantly, having gone through many more life experiences (although I don’t deny having a somewhat sheltered childhood / adolescence…), accomplished many achievements, dreamt bigger and better futures.
As I graduated from high school, my circle of friends expanded... We’ve shared wonderful experiences together: Switzerland, and being stranded in Florence; monopolizing the school by controlling the yearbook ([to the student council] Oh yeah? Oh yeah? One page for you! Black and white! =P Haha, joking); graduating from a ghetto school as a circle of friends who actually looked toward the future... =P
I also got to know what *real* friendship is: sharing struggles and burdens with each other, empathizing based on the understanding gained from past experiences, caring without seeking anything in return, tasting the purity the love of philios…
This concept of friendship extended to university; having met a few more people whom I now consider as my closest friends…
My point in all of this?
In the final analysis, all I can say is that I have been blessed beyond comprehension. God has carried me through all these years (especially out of those traumatic middle school years… =P) and I am forever grateful.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
– James 1:17
Sunday, July 14, 2002
Wednesday, July 10, 2002
Sorry, I realize it’s been a LONG while… haven’t had much time to think and write, but here’s what I *was* thinking about:
Do we ever *need* a boyfriend/girlfriend?
By definition, “need” means there is a *necessity.* Perhaps this necessity demonstrates the importance of the person; that we cannot live without him/her. This may be the highest form of compliment… (recall the movie, “Needing You” =P)… demonstrating to the other person that the relationship is indispensable.
Maybe we *need* affection, need someone to care for us, to be there for us when we need it…
But… do we ever get to that level of necessity? I don’t know.
Nor am I an advocate of necessity for such things either…
Just something that I’ve been thinking about lately.. =P
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Do we ever *need* a boyfriend/girlfriend?
By definition, “need” means there is a *necessity.* Perhaps this necessity demonstrates the importance of the person; that we cannot live without him/her. This may be the highest form of compliment… (recall the movie, “Needing You” =P)… demonstrating to the other person that the relationship is indispensable.
Maybe we *need* affection, need someone to care for us, to be there for us when we need it…
But… do we ever get to that level of necessity? I don’t know.
Nor am I an advocate of necessity for such things either…
Just something that I’ve been thinking about lately.. =P
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Monday, July 01, 2002
(In response to Nighthawk's comments:) [see "Enjoy a Yam here"]
I agree. Long distance is *not* an ideal, and I don’t think people go around *looking* for a long distance relationship anyway… it just results from circumstance…
And I’m not saying distance is completely not a factor. =P But I guess I emphasize the “commitment” part of the relationship. True, commitment should be a significant part of *any* relationship, but it just takes a *lot* more effort in a long distance one. The risk of being too independent is extremely high. However, it’s still possible to still communicate, to support one another in struggles, to overcome trials together despite the difference in location…
I don’t know, I realize I’m idealistic in many ways… =P But it still boggles my mind: if people really want *something*.. wouldn't they stop at nothing to get it? (fine, under reasonable situations... but still...)
I don't know, I still think that if there's a will, there's a way...
*especially* if it's God's will...
so I guess the question becomes, then, *is* it God's will...?
But then again, that is *always* the question... =P
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
I agree. Long distance is *not* an ideal, and I don’t think people go around *looking* for a long distance relationship anyway… it just results from circumstance…
And I’m not saying distance is completely not a factor. =P But I guess I emphasize the “commitment” part of the relationship. True, commitment should be a significant part of *any* relationship, but it just takes a *lot* more effort in a long distance one. The risk of being too independent is extremely high. However, it’s still possible to still communicate, to support one another in struggles, to overcome trials together despite the difference in location…
I don’t know, I realize I’m idealistic in many ways… =P But it still boggles my mind: if people really want *something*.. wouldn't they stop at nothing to get it? (fine, under reasonable situations... but still...)
I don't know, I still think that if there's a will, there's a way...
*especially* if it's God's will...
so I guess the question becomes, then, *is* it God's will...?
But then again, that is *always* the question... =P
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Friday, June 28, 2002
The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
– Psalm 19:1
What a beautiful day...
...especially compared to our office right now... it's freezing. =P
My coworker and I decided to take a walk at lunch, so I took off my jacket to go outside. =P
Such a nice day.
Nice to just sit in a park, (located in downtown nonetheless,) and just admire the peaceful beauty of nature...
a tranquility amidst busy city streets all around...
like the stillness in the eye of a tornado...
it's so calming...
so comforting...
so peaceful...
so nice... =)
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
– Psalm 23:1-3
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
– Psalm 19:1
What a beautiful day...
...especially compared to our office right now... it's freezing. =P
My coworker and I decided to take a walk at lunch, so I took off my jacket to go outside. =P
Such a nice day.
Nice to just sit in a park, (located in downtown nonetheless,) and just admire the peaceful beauty of nature...
a tranquility amidst busy city streets all around...
like the stillness in the eye of a tornado...
it's so calming...
so comforting...
so peaceful...
so nice... =)
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
– Psalm 23:1-3
Wednesday, June 26, 2002
Sunday, June 23, 2002
God is good.
God is great.
God is awesome.
God is superlative.
Actually, God *defies* superlatives.
Haha... silly, silly... =P
Yes, Vern, how right you are. Haha.. I'm probably the only person who can amuse myself like I do... =P
Anyway, I was having one of those days. In this case, the "those" refers to an uncontrollable-emotional-outpour type of day. No, I don't get these often, but every couple of months I'll get one. =P
I'm not generally an emotional person, but pretty much the only thing that *does* cause me to get emotional is thinking about God's grace, as was the case here.
God has blessed me *abundantly,* to no end. I don't think I have any complaints about any aspect of my life... which leads me to pose the question, "Why??"
I am a proud and selfish person, undeserving of any goodness whatsoever. Totally depraved, spiritually blind, completely hopeless on my own strength, subject to spiritual death if it weren't for...
...God's grace.
"Why???"
"I have chosen you to be my child."
"But... it's too much... I can't accept it..."
"It is only by my grace that you can be saved. I love you the way you are, and this is my gift to you. I know you want to return the favour and try to do something back for me, but really, there is nothing that you can *do*. Just accept my gift to you."
"I don't know...."
--------
I must have gone through this conversation dozens of times before I could say,
"I don't know... but okay... yes... I accept!"
And thus commenced my journey as a Christian.
Ever since, he has abundantly showered his blessings upon me, and with the same level of gratitude as before, I struggle between the concept of work ethic and the acceptance of his grace.
But really, why do I bother? What good is it to gratefully but semi-unwillingly accept his gifts, to wallow in my unworthiness?
God has chosen me to be called his own, he has granted me the gifts to be used for his will, and it is up to me to say, "Um... I don't know... but okay... yes, I accept!"
And so I do, and (try to) shower *his* gifts on those around me. =)
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
God is great.
God is awesome.
God is superlative.
Actually, God *defies* superlatives.
Haha... silly, silly... =P
Yes, Vern, how right you are. Haha.. I'm probably the only person who can amuse myself like I do... =P
Anyway, I was having one of those days. In this case, the "those" refers to an uncontrollable-emotional-outpour type of day. No, I don't get these often, but every couple of months I'll get one. =P
I'm not generally an emotional person, but pretty much the only thing that *does* cause me to get emotional is thinking about God's grace, as was the case here.
God has blessed me *abundantly,* to no end. I don't think I have any complaints about any aspect of my life... which leads me to pose the question, "Why??"
I am a proud and selfish person, undeserving of any goodness whatsoever. Totally depraved, spiritually blind, completely hopeless on my own strength, subject to spiritual death if it weren't for...
...God's grace.
"Why???"
"I have chosen you to be my child."
"But... it's too much... I can't accept it..."
"It is only by my grace that you can be saved. I love you the way you are, and this is my gift to you. I know you want to return the favour and try to do something back for me, but really, there is nothing that you can *do*. Just accept my gift to you."
"I don't know...."
--------
I must have gone through this conversation dozens of times before I could say,
"I don't know... but okay... yes... I accept!"
And thus commenced my journey as a Christian.
Ever since, he has abundantly showered his blessings upon me, and with the same level of gratitude as before, I struggle between the concept of work ethic and the acceptance of his grace.
But really, why do I bother? What good is it to gratefully but semi-unwillingly accept his gifts, to wallow in my unworthiness?
God has chosen me to be called his own, he has granted me the gifts to be used for his will, and it is up to me to say, "Um... I don't know... but okay... yes, I accept!"
And so I do, and (try to) shower *his* gifts on those around me. =)
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Friday, June 14, 2002
"What is a relationship?"
I had to think very hard to this question, and still wasn't really able to come up with an answer. Just that it encompasses many things.. Just some thoughts... (in the general "boyfriend/girlfriend" sense):
Love - I think love is actually a learning process... we gradually learn to love people, and in the process, we see how God's love works, and consequently should grow in our relationship with Him. You know the heartbreaking feeling when you really miss someone? Imagine... I think God *always* feels that with us...
Commonalities - Just a practical thing... I don't know if the "opposites attract" cliché is actually representative. How can the relationship function if there is nothing to talk about?
Commitment - What's the use of dating if it's not going to go anywhere? Personally, I think dating is meant to result in marriage... I'm not saying all relationships HAVE to work out or anything, but I think that's the mindset to have when entering into a relationship. There will never be a perfect relationship. Trials are bound to ensue, and it is commitment to each other that will hold them together.
Physical attraction - haha, this is debatable... personally, I never really thought about physical attraction (seriously!) but it has been said, "A couple can have everything... but if one of them thinks the girlfriend/boyfriend is ugly, then they are hopeless." Hm.. I don't know.... maybe?
Anyway, given all of these components, mainly commitment, I think "distance" is almost irrelevant. True, it is a lot more difficult and takes a lot more effort on the part of the parties, but as long as the couple *wants* to stay together and makes the effort to do so... what will stop them?
Just some thoughts... comments?
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
I had to think very hard to this question, and still wasn't really able to come up with an answer. Just that it encompasses many things.. Just some thoughts... (in the general "boyfriend/girlfriend" sense):
Love - I think love is actually a learning process... we gradually learn to love people, and in the process, we see how God's love works, and consequently should grow in our relationship with Him. You know the heartbreaking feeling when you really miss someone? Imagine... I think God *always* feels that with us...
Commonalities - Just a practical thing... I don't know if the "opposites attract" cliché is actually representative. How can the relationship function if there is nothing to talk about?
Commitment - What's the use of dating if it's not going to go anywhere? Personally, I think dating is meant to result in marriage... I'm not saying all relationships HAVE to work out or anything, but I think that's the mindset to have when entering into a relationship. There will never be a perfect relationship. Trials are bound to ensue, and it is commitment to each other that will hold them together.
Physical attraction - haha, this is debatable... personally, I never really thought about physical attraction (seriously!) but it has been said, "A couple can have everything... but if one of them thinks the girlfriend/boyfriend is ugly, then they are hopeless." Hm.. I don't know.... maybe?
Anyway, given all of these components, mainly commitment, I think "distance" is almost irrelevant. True, it is a lot more difficult and takes a lot more effort on the part of the parties, but as long as the couple *wants* to stay together and makes the effort to do so... what will stop them?
Just some thoughts... comments?
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Oh yes, back to the Relationships book... you know what? Forget it. What Dr. Les and Leslie parrott write about guy/girl friendships is... anti-climactic... nothing that you've never heard before. So forget it. =P
Can I throw out a general question though?
How many of you are in a long-distance relationship? How have you been handling it so far? What keeps you going?
Ahem, yes, questions that hit close to home... =P For those of you who know me, I'm okay, really. I'm just wondering... =P
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Can I throw out a general question though?
How many of you are in a long-distance relationship? How have you been handling it so far? What keeps you going?
Ahem, yes, questions that hit close to home... =P For those of you who know me, I'm okay, really. I'm just wondering... =P
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Monday, June 10, 2002
Sunday, June 09, 2002
HEY!!!!!!
Just my reaction after reading Jason's page. =P
Anyway, one of my songs would be:
[gum teen ngo sui yiew dik see ngoi].
But in terms of meaningfulness, maybe:
[tien hei hei] / [teen huk huk]
Haha, jokes. =P
Just my reaction after reading Jason's page. =P
Anyway, one of my songs would be:
[gum teen ngo sui yiew dik see ngoi].
But in terms of meaningfulness, maybe:
[tien hei hei] / [teen huk huk]
Haha, jokes. =P
Thursday, June 06, 2002
Hm.. well, if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of running dry on this topic. Which is weird and maybe unfortunate because it (meaning "balance") tends to be an answer that I always hear. Oh well, I haven't had that much time to think about stuff to write either...
Anyway, question: Is there ever a time when it is acceptable to give up on a friendship?
I was just thinking... sometimes friendships don't always go our way; we put a lot of ourself in, but don't always receive anything in return. Does that give us a right to start giving up on the friendship? But then, friendships aren't meant to be a cost-benefit decision anyway, right? I don't think we need to "try" as hard as we did before, but I don't think we can just give up like that.. it wouldn't be right. It would bother me to know that a friendship didn't work out because I didn't *really* try to work things out. No, maybe I'm emphasizing too much on the "doing" part.. maybe we call each other less and less.. but I don't think we should stop *caring*. And when contact ceases, thus concludes the "friendship of the road."
I've been reading Relationships by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. In their chapter about friendships, they explain that our "circle" of friends is more like a triangle: we contact between 500 to 2500 acquaintances each year, then 20 to 100 "core friends" whom we know by name and see somewhat regularly, then 1 to 7 intimate friends, who are closely involved in our lives.
They cut out our "close friends" into 2 categories: Friends of the Road, and Friends of the Heart.
Friends of the Road - friendships that were strong at the time, but all of a sudden fades into our memories. These friendships were meant to be transitory; they helped us grow through this stretch of the road, before road ran out.
Friends of the Heart - long-lasting pals who know us sometimes better than we know ourselves... etc. =P
Neither categories are better then the other, what matters is how the friendship sustains us right now.
The main point, however, is Friends of the Road aren't failed friendships; they helped us through that time in our lives, and for that we are grateful.
Oh yeah, the book *did* touch upon guy/girl relationships, actually... but nothing much, I'll write about it later. =P
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Anyway, question: Is there ever a time when it is acceptable to give up on a friendship?
I was just thinking... sometimes friendships don't always go our way; we put a lot of ourself in, but don't always receive anything in return. Does that give us a right to start giving up on the friendship? But then, friendships aren't meant to be a cost-benefit decision anyway, right? I don't think we need to "try" as hard as we did before, but I don't think we can just give up like that.. it wouldn't be right. It would bother me to know that a friendship didn't work out because I didn't *really* try to work things out. No, maybe I'm emphasizing too much on the "doing" part.. maybe we call each other less and less.. but I don't think we should stop *caring*. And when contact ceases, thus concludes the "friendship of the road."
I've been reading Relationships by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. In their chapter about friendships, they explain that our "circle" of friends is more like a triangle: we contact between 500 to 2500 acquaintances each year, then 20 to 100 "core friends" whom we know by name and see somewhat regularly, then 1 to 7 intimate friends, who are closely involved in our lives.
They cut out our "close friends" into 2 categories: Friends of the Road, and Friends of the Heart.
Friends of the Road - friendships that were strong at the time, but all of a sudden fades into our memories. These friendships were meant to be transitory; they helped us grow through this stretch of the road, before road ran out.
Friends of the Heart - long-lasting pals who know us sometimes better than we know ourselves... etc. =P
Neither categories are better then the other, what matters is how the friendship sustains us right now.
The main point, however, is Friends of the Road aren't failed friendships; they helped us through that time in our lives, and for that we are grateful.
Oh yeah, the book *did* touch upon guy/girl relationships, actually... but nothing much, I'll write about it later. =P
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Wednesday, June 05, 2002
Balance: A harmonious or satisfying arrangement or proportion of parts or elements, as in a design.
Interesting. Just thought I would look it up to see what it means... there are many definitions of the word, most of them fitting my general idea of equilibrium where all "forces" or inputs, or whatever you want, are equal. But this definition is much more fitting for our purposes. It just really caught my attention because I've never thought about it like this before, and I like it.
Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt, I'll get back to my questions later. =P
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Interesting. Just thought I would look it up to see what it means... there are many definitions of the word, most of them fitting my general idea of equilibrium where all "forces" or inputs, or whatever you want, are equal. But this definition is much more fitting for our purposes. It just really caught my attention because I've never thought about it like this before, and I like it.
Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt, I'll get back to my questions later. =P
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Monday, June 03, 2002
Sorry for not posting in a while... I've been out of the storage room and in the sun. =) And I think I should really finish my work before I spend time on this page, especially if I'm *at* work. But it's evening now, so it's ok. =P
Thanks Matt for your thoughts.
Balance. I realize that the scope of the word is pretty broad, so let's break it down (must not confound =P).:
Time - If you place value in more than one thing, then it is probably desirable to balance your time between them (lest you become one-dimensional =P). Easiest example: work (study) or play, marks or fun; we definitely have to balance between the two. Sorry, I'm not really qualified to present a quick and easy solution... although I *do* have some suggestions (namely, make a schedule! =P) No surprises here.
Effort level - As Matt has alluded to, (I suppose in terms of an ethical argument), we should put in our 100% in whatever we do. Well, whatever, I don't want to argue anything here; I know this stance is entirely debatable. (Those who know me will understand my position since I *do* have perfectionistic tendencies.. =P or just "analities" =P)
Anyway, kind of relating to this topic of effort level, let me pose a couple of questions:
Is there ever a time when it is acceptable to give up on a friendship? Is it possible to care too much?
I'll leave you with these... Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Thanks Matt for your thoughts.
Balance. I realize that the scope of the word is pretty broad, so let's break it down (must not confound =P).:
Time - If you place value in more than one thing, then it is probably desirable to balance your time between them (lest you become one-dimensional =P). Easiest example: work (study) or play, marks or fun; we definitely have to balance between the two. Sorry, I'm not really qualified to present a quick and easy solution... although I *do* have some suggestions (namely, make a schedule! =P) No surprises here.
Effort level - As Matt has alluded to, (I suppose in terms of an ethical argument), we should put in our 100% in whatever we do. Well, whatever, I don't want to argue anything here; I know this stance is entirely debatable. (Those who know me will understand my position since I *do* have perfectionistic tendencies.. =P or just "analities" =P)
Anyway, kind of relating to this topic of effort level, let me pose a couple of questions:
Is there ever a time when it is acceptable to give up on a friendship? Is it possible to care too much?
I'll leave you with these... Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Thursday, May 30, 2002
Opportunity cost: The loss of the next best alternative.
It has been said that our greatest gift and resource is time. Given this limited resource, should we not find the production possibilities frontier; that is, the combination of activities that produces the maximum potential? Haha, incredible isn't it, that economics is *actually* applicable to life? Oh, what is that? It *is* life? Okay, ri-ght.=P Enough jargon for now.
*However*, depending on your definition of maximum potential, the optimal combination does not necessarily lead to balance. People who love their jobs may just want to spend their day and nights at the office. Workaholicism isn't a problem then, is it? Haha, no, I'm not advocating for myself... =P The root of this issue is independent, questioning the appropriateness of one's placement of value.
Personally, I've come to the realization that I'm not as ambitious as I thought I was, or as I used to be. NO, it does *not* have to do with anything marriage related. =P I think everyone has a purpose for our lives, and I no longer see the value in a stellar career. For me, I place value in the people around me. As a Bessie Stanley (to be confirmed) wrote, (apparently incorrectly attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson), "...To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived..."
What is *your* purpose on this earth?
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
It has been said that our greatest gift and resource is time. Given this limited resource, should we not find the production possibilities frontier; that is, the combination of activities that produces the maximum potential? Haha, incredible isn't it, that economics is *actually* applicable to life? Oh, what is that? It *is* life? Okay, ri-ght.=P Enough jargon for now.
*However*, depending on your definition of maximum potential, the optimal combination does not necessarily lead to balance. People who love their jobs may just want to spend their day and nights at the office. Workaholicism isn't a problem then, is it? Haha, no, I'm not advocating for myself... =P The root of this issue is independent, questioning the appropriateness of one's placement of value.
Personally, I've come to the realization that I'm not as ambitious as I thought I was, or as I used to be. NO, it does *not* have to do with anything marriage related. =P I think everyone has a purpose for our lives, and I no longer see the value in a stellar career. For me, I place value in the people around me. As a Bessie Stanley (to be confirmed) wrote, (apparently incorrectly attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson), "...To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived..."
What is *your* purpose on this earth?
Until next time, this is Gladys Yam.
Wednesday, May 29, 2002
As I mentioned in my Introduction, I'm not (really) one who likes to express my thoughts or opinions... that would require me to have some sort of logical thought process to begin with.
On the other hand, I will spare you the lacklustre details of my life:
"I went out to [an unnamed client] this morning to audit their pension fund... they situated me in an empty office, otherwise used as their new storage room! So there is no light (thank goodness it's been really sunny), and it is dusty in here! I started going through their custodian statements of their defined benefit pension plan of $XXX million dollars and started ticking away..."
Really, accounting / auditing isn't that bad. No, I'm not sarcastic.
Balance. I would have put a description in, but I needed to think about it first.
What *is* it about balance that we strive to achieve it? We (should?) strive to balance our diet, balance our time, balance our life. (Not to mention balance our chequebook; how fitting that I'm an accountant. =P)
OR, is it worth striving for at all? Does balance lead to mediocrity across the board and lack of excellence in any particular area?
Let us discuss... in the time to come. =P I really need to get work done. =P
If you have any thoughts or comments on this subject, I welcome you to share them with me at yamkaryee@hotmail.com. I will consider them in my following posts.
Until next time, then, this is Gladys Yam.
On the other hand, I will spare you the lacklustre details of my life:
"I went out to [an unnamed client] this morning to audit their pension fund... they situated me in an empty office, otherwise used as their new storage room! So there is no light (thank goodness it's been really sunny), and it is dusty in here! I started going through their custodian statements of their defined benefit pension plan of $XXX million dollars and started ticking away..."
Really, accounting / auditing isn't that bad. No, I'm not sarcastic.
Balance. I would have put a description in, but I needed to think about it first.
What *is* it about balance that we strive to achieve it? We (should?) strive to balance our diet, balance our time, balance our life. (Not to mention balance our chequebook; how fitting that I'm an accountant. =P)
OR, is it worth striving for at all? Does balance lead to mediocrity across the board and lack of excellence in any particular area?
Let us discuss... in the time to come. =P I really need to get work done. =P
If you have any thoughts or comments on this subject, I welcome you to share them with me at yamkaryee@hotmail.com. I will consider them in my following posts.
Until next time, then, this is Gladys Yam.
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